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How making your baby feel secure reduces crying
As the mother of three children who barely ever cried as babies, I endured comments about how I had been lucky to have "easy" children. There were also the less benign hints that my children were not very bright and were essentially too slow to know enough to cry. Such comments came from frazzled, exhausted, mothers who had babies who were "always" crying. Often these were good, loving, mothers who just seemed to have no concept of the steps required to make a baby feel secure. I resented the suggestions that I was lucky because I knew how much attention I paid to making my babies feel secure. I really resented suggestions that my children were "slow" because all three were plenty bright. 
It is also important - when the time comes - to socialize a young child. Underneath all these admirable and important aims, however, remains the baby's primary need to feel secure.
There are a lot of reasons that babies lean toward feeling insecure. First, they are new in this world. Things, including their own discomforts, can just be overwhelming to them. They are helpless; and while they may not really understand that in their minds, they can feel the insecurity of knowing that being held certain ways makes them feel as if they may be dropped. Their central nervous systems are not developed the way older children's and adults' are. While some babies are more sensitive than others, most babies will be affected by things such as too many bright lights, too many different noises, temperatures that make them feel uncomfortable, or being handed around from one adult to another. Babies who are allowed to get hurt too much during the day (maybe because they're among slightly older siblings) can't mentally sort out that nobody intended to hurt them. All they know is that this world is a place where they're always getting hurt. All these things can contribute to a baby's feeling less secure, and when babies feel less secure things bother them more. A frazzled, anxious, parent will also make a baby feel insecure. Babies need to sense that parents are secure, solid, people. Sometimes too, feeling.
It is also important - when the time comes - to socialize a young child. Underneath all these admirable and important aims, however, remains the baby's primary need to feel secure.
There are a lot of reasons that babies lean toward feeling insecure. First, they are new in this world. Things, including their own discomforts, can just be overwhelming to them. They are helpless; and while they may not really understand that in their minds, they can feel the insecurity of knowing that being held certain ways makes them feel as if they may be dropped. Their central nervous systems are not developed the way older children's and adults' are. While some babies are more sensitive than others, most babies will be affected by things such as too many bright lights, too many different noises, temperatures that make them feel uncomfortable, or being handed around from one adult to another. Babies who are allowed to get hurt too much during the day (maybe because they're among slightly older siblings) can't mentally sort out that nobody intended to hurt them. All they know is that this world is a place where they're always getting hurt. All these things can contribute to a baby's feeling less secure, and when babies feel less secure things bother them more. A frazzled, anxious, parent will also make a baby feel insecure. Babies need to sense that parents are secure, solid, people. Sometimes too, feeling.
Many people buy used cribs or they are given antique cribs from family members. Years ago there weren’t many safety guidelines in place to protect consumers. It takes very little time or effort to make sure that your baby’s crib (new or used) is really safe. Follow these simple steps to ensure that baby is safe so that mom and dad can sleep like a baby too.
Difficulty: Easy
Step1
You can check for consumer recalls on cribs by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission at their Web site. If the crib is on this list, there are instructions to follow there.
Step2
Check the crib’s structure on a regular basis to keep it safe. Crib slats need to be less than 2 3/8 inches apart so that the baby’s body cannot fit partway through the slats and get caught. Make sure that the slats aren’t loose or broken–—fix or replace these before use. Corner posts should be no taller than 1/16 of an inch higher than the rails. If they are, take them off. Cribs with cutout designs present a terrible strangulation hazard and should never be used.
Step3
Check for loose and missing hardware and make sure that mattress support hangers are all connected securely. Replace screws that can’t be tightened. If any staples were used, they need to be tight and in place. Missing hardware has caused cribs to come apart or mattresses to sag
and more than 50 babies per year are killed by faulty crib construction. Step4
Check older, painted cribs for lead-based paint. Repaint cribs with enamel paint in a well ventilated area. Make sure the crib is dry and free of fumes before you use it. Check older cribs very carefully for cracked, splintered or chipped wood and sand or repair. Check to see that side rails close securely and can’t be pried opened by little fingers.
Step5
The mattress must fit your crib. It should be firm–—nothing soft enough for baby to roll about on. It must fit very snugly along all sides and corners, with no more than 2-finger-width room between the mattress and sides. Never cover the mattress with plastic bags or sheets of plastic as these have been known to cause smothering deaths in infants. Never use anything in your baby’s crib except sheets that are made for cribs which fit snugly and won’t pull up at the sides or corners.
